single and NOT searching!!!!
Being single is not anything to be ashamed about in our age! We live in a time when most relationships break up and there is no guarantee that even the best ones will last. In the meantime, there is much to enjoy in life, and singleness has a great many benefits that those couples you envy would give an arm or a leg for!
Take charge of your reality and give up all that envy! Stop worrying about everyone else around you getting into relationships, and thinking that you need to as well. All those happy couples in movies and TV shows are the fabrications of Hollywood writers designed to sell tickets and get high TV ratings. Real couples have messy lives—they fight, leave the bathroom dirty and steal the remote from each other. Give up those unrealistic fantasies of your 'soulmate', and notice how most people around you are just regular folk - good people, but not magical heroes who fix each others' lives.
Focus on becoming the best person you can be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, do whatever your heart desires. Remember that everything you do should be for you! High self confidence will attract more friends and maybe in the long run even a little romance. (Once you become the person you like, though, you may be less willing to compromise what's important for romance.) Concentrate on yourself and figure out what you like and don't like. Make plans with friends that you haven't seen in a while. Take a nice, hot bath. Read a book, or walk the dog. Take time for yourself, and don't sweat finding someone. You can't go on looking for love, love has to find you.
Indulge yourself. Go out and get your nails done, have a spa day or get a massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop pleasing yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!
Play the field. Go out and have fun. Go out to clubs with your friends. Dance and flirt with others if you like. Don't be afraid to give or take phone numbers, just realize that nothing may come of it. Don't take the above advice to mean that you should go for every piece of ass out there. You have a reputation to uphold, and a promise to your body, mind and soul to take care of you. You don't need another person to make you feel special
Realize that you are still lucky and fortunate. Many people around the world are either: chronically ill, homeless, living in poverty, starving, fleeing from warfare, and have no personal freedoms due to dictatorships. If you are depressed and think you are not lucky because you are single, think again!. People in those aforementioned conditions have it harder than you!
Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and self esteem.
Look in the mirror. Say things that you like about yourself. Repeat phrases to yourself such as "I am a strong, and beautiful individual" and tell your reflection that you love you. You need to know that you cannot expect others to make you happy. You are the only person who can make you happy in the end.
Become an optimist. This is a trait that helps you whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed! Keep a gratitude diary and every night think of 3 things you are grateful for. Find the silver lining in everything throughout your day, and savor little pleasures. You'll live longer, make it through tough times more smoothly, and even avoid the common cold more often!
- Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.
- You don't need to fake and plaster on smiles all the time if you're not truly happy. Be yourself. If it's a recent break-up it's ok to be sad... but only for a week or so. Any longer, is just not being fair to yourself or others
- When flirting with others, be sure not to overdo it. Leading others on is so not attractive.
- If you do find yourself in a new relationship make sure you're over your last relationship. It's not fair to the new person, and its certainly not fair to you.
- Maybe your last relationship wasn't the best. Maybe they were abusive or controlling. Maybe for whatever reason, they were not treating you with the respect and decency that you deserve. Whatever the case is, don't blame yourself for the break-up. Do not shut yourself in. It's ok to be vulnerable. When the time comes that you feel ready for a relationship again, make sure you're ready. If you're still unable to open up and trust, then that's a clear sign that maybe you still aren't ready yet. That's ok. Just don't become bitter or cold. It's a risk to open up your heart and it's hard to be vulnerable and trust again. But by not doing so, you're not only depriving yourself but also depriving the other people out there who are good people and who could be potential relationships.