2. Stay Away
2) Stay away from “Those Parts” as long as possible - When you get started, the least responsive parts of her are the ones you want to go for first. A friend of mine calls it “running the bathwater” foreplay. Put your hands up in front of you and imagine you’re adjusting the hot and cold knobs (her breasts). Now drop one hand and run it under the faucet water (between her legs). Yep. DON’T do that. I know you love those pink parts, but I promise, if you take your good old fashioned time getting there, she will be very excited to have you playing with them at the proper point.
There is a great exercise in Tantric sex where you focus on every part of your lover’s body except genitalia and nipples. You can caress, stroke, kiss, nibble, massage everywhere but there. And not in a distracted, I’d-rather-be-touching-your-pink-parts way (yes, we can tell). Focus on the non-pink-parts like you’ve never had the opportunity to touch those places before (if you’ve been doing the running-the-bathwater method, you may not have realized she had all that lovely skin and curves in other places). Put a lot of time into those romantic, drowning kisses, too. Special note: Women are very sensitive above the shoulders. Face, mouth…ooh, the throat. Why do you think vampires turn us on? The throat is key to a lot of fantasies. Surrender, vulnerability…
As you’re touching all the other places, watch her responses. When she wants you to go faster (aka move closer to pink parts), you’ll see it in the urgency of her body language, her breathing, etc. In short, learn to pay attention to all the details as you arouse your lover, and whenever in doubt, go slower. A great way to ease into this is to start by giving her a full back massage. Ask her to get naked and lie down on the bed, then focus on relaxing her entire body. Your touch can get more sensual as you progress – again, note her body language, the way she rises up into your touch, etc.