It’s true, nowadays some guys will tell you straight up they aren’t looking for a relationship and will propose a sex-only arrangement from the start. They’ll suggest you be friends with benefits and some people will respond with an affirming ‘yes that suits me just fine’. But is it always that clear? Hardly. Despite the decrease of many sexual taboos, and the rise of sexual freedoms for both women and men of all ages, we still aren’t always sure if it’s just a sex thing, or is the sex actually part of a relationship that could go somewhere?
So to avoid disappointment, and to make sure you know when a booty call is just that, make sure you pay attention to the signs...
1. He only contacts you for one reason
The only reason he calls, texts or reaches out to you is to ask you what you’re doing so he can ask you to come over (for sex) or ask you out on a date which leads to sex pretty quickly every time.
2. You know nothing about his life
He never invites you anywhere and you basically know nothing about his life except maybe where his house, apartment and/or bedroom are located.
3. He can't remember your name
He can’t remember your name. Don’t laugh, people have made bigger mistakes than this. If he mixes you up, calls you by another name, forgets your last name even, it shows he’s not paying attention to you and who you are. If he was interested in you he would commit your name to memory instantly and he’d never forget it.
4. He only calls you after 9pm
Mostly his calls to you are after 9pm and they start with “hey so what are you up to?”. This means he’s thinking about you when he’s thinking about sex. Flattering? Sure. If you want him thinking about you at 9am, noon and when he’s talking to his friends and family (preferably about you), then not so much
5. He rarely asks you anything about yourself
Rarely does he ask you anything about yourself and talks mostly about how you look. Be aware he’s really not interested in you. He’s interested in you as eye candy. And how he can get you naked.
6. He doesn't want to spend time with you outside the bedroom
He has an excuse for every time you mention you’ve been invited to an event and ask him to come along. Oh, but he always has time later at night to spend with you… in the bedroom. Be aware this guy doesn’t want to form an attachment outside the sheets.
7. He only wants quickies
If you ever do see him in the day, it invariably involves a quickie. And while we’re on the subject of quickies, if he’s only ever having quickies with you, you are just his sex toy.
8. He doesn't want to meet your friends
He has no interest in meeting your friends. Okay, you think, so he’s shy and slow to want to share his own friends and family. Is he willing to meet anyone from your life? And if so, is he invested or dismissive?
9. He says he wants to take things slowly but...
He says he wants to take things slowly, but he maintains sleeping with you for more than a month and you still haven’t become involved in each other’s lives. One of you is in denial by this point: it’s a sex only relationship.
10. Your gut tells you so
And finally he’s probably just in it for the sex if your gut tells you that’s the case. If you’re in doubt, ask him! But often you just know, if you pause and listen to your inner voice. You know what you want and if it’s more than sex, are you really getting it?